roar #22

shutting off

I shut off all emotion

can't let myself feel the pain

How can this not be a dream

when it all feels so surreal?

Can’t let anyone know what’s going on

Just stand here when I feel like there’s so much I have to say

Now my world fades to a shade of grey

Everything around me is part of my living nightmare

I strive to be understood

But I can’t seem to say a word

And I promise you I won’t look down and cry

I’ll tell everyone I'm okay

I have nothing to do in this world

But I won’t slow down

Even when my whole body is numb from all this pain

Despair settles upon me

and leaves its mark, hold up all this inside stuff

and I will stay in the dark.

I’ll smile to the world

act like it's all ok.

I’ll keep on fighting, through another meaningless day

With no real point

And i promised you that the end is near

You walked away

And im convinced that you are scared of the truth

Your walking around in denial

You did not even attempt to help me

Maybe when i do die you’ll see what you did

Maybe you’ll finally care about me

But then it will be much too late